For the love of a Raven
by ferretgirl-1124
Summary: Raven centric stories. Check the summary at the beginning of each chapter for more info. [16: Final Straw]
1. Emotions in Music :Angst:

Title: Emotions in music 

Rating: PG  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Angst  
Warnings: Angst, strange phrasing  
Summary: One girl finds comfort through music.

_

* * *

Hatred_

A haunting, echoing melody that resonated through the tower.

_Desolate_

It seemed to sink into the very soul, holding all the secrets of pain.

_Despair_

The others in the building paused, awed by the music that was an audio Nirvana.

_Confusion _

The song continued, a balm to lamenting souls, a cool hand on fevered brow.

_Anger_

In a darkened room, a young empath meditated, as a violin encased in black energy played her emotions for the world to hear.

_Hope_


	2. Dashed Hopes :Humor:

Title: Dashed Hopes

Author: Ferretgirl1124  
Rating: PG  
Pairing: None  
Warning: Failure  
Genre: Humor

Summary: Raven tries to learn something

* * *

They could all do it. 

Her teammates, Titans East...they could all do it. But whenever she tried, something went wrong. Last time she had tried she had hurt Beast Boy.

It was starting to seem hopeless. Raven felt she would never be able to do it, no matter how much she wanted to.

Another explosion, another dashed hope.

She would never be able to cook.


	3. Bribery :Humor:

Title: Bribery

Rating: PG  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Humor  
Warnings: Spoilers  
Summary: Raven's secret, known only by one.

* * *

Only one person knows. Terra was gone that day. I know why now, but then I was curious.

The boys were gone too. We were worried, and waiting for them to call. So I did one of the only things that calms me down, not even caring when she saw. Now I regret it; she wanted to tell everyone. Finally I ended up bribing her, much to my dismay.

Click. Click. My needles hit each other as I reminisce, my 'please-don't-tell' present to Starfire slowly appearing in all of it's knitted glory.

* * *

**A/N:** I've always wondered about this. 'Winner take all' takes place between 'Titan Rising' and 'Betrayal', and Terra is in the last scene. In the card game at the beginning, however, she isn't there. During the scene when Cyborg tries to call home, she isn't there. Ever notice that?

BTW, Raven knitting is canon. You can see it in the background when Cyborg tries to call home.


	4. Not Interested :Angst:

Rating: PG  
Pairings:Implied het pairing  
Genre: Angst  
Warnings: 1st person POV  
Summary: Raven thinks of what could have been.

* * *

He asked me today what I thought of him. 

They don't understand that it's dangerous. I wasn't even supposed to have friends; a relationship is out of the question.

But he asked me, so I did what I had to do. I told him to go away, that I wasn't interested.

And that's the way it will stay, no matter how cute I think he is.


	5. Obsessed :Humor:

Rating: PG  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Humor  
Warnings: 1st person POV, complete and total randomness  
Summary: Beast Boy with scissors is bad. Beast Boy with scissors near _Raven_ is worse.

* * *

The boys are obsessed with their hair. We all know it. Saying it out loud was not a good idea. 

Neither was saying that none of the girls were obsessed like that.

To keep me from killing him, Robin had to promise that Beast Boy would never be allowed near scissors again.


	6. Terra :Angst:

Title: Terra 

Rating: PG  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Angst  
Warnings: Angst, 1st person POV

Summary: Musings on the lost Titan

* * *

They always ask us what we thought of her.

Why can't they just let sleeping dogs lie? God knows Beast Boy needs the sleep.

If they really want an answer, I'll give them one.

I loved her for what she was, and hated her for what she became.


	7. Best Friend :General:

Rating: PG  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Drama  
Warnings: Friendship, being kind to Starfire  
Summary: Raven thinks about her most mocked friendship

* * *

I hate how people think of her. I hate how they think I think of her even more.

She's strange, it's true, but so am I. We're complete opposites; I love to read, she cooks. She laughs, I lurk.

Apparently opposites attract, and that's the case with us. Though there is one way that we're exactly the same; we're both far brighter then the boys give us credit for. Not to mention much stronger then anyone suspects.

Through all the fights and strange foods, she and I have become closer, and if there's one thing I know for sure it's that Starfire is the best friend I've ever had.


	8. Let Me Feel :Angst:

**Title:** Let me feel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings:** Implied het pairing  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Warnings:** Angst, 1st person POV, slight spoilers

**Summary:** All she wants to do is feel

**A/N:** Random, pointless, unbeta'd. Enjoy

* * *

They always ask me why I act the way I do. Why I'm wierd. Why I'm _creepy_.

I don't know. I was born this was. I never asked to be who I am, I never wanted to be a demons daughter, a 'gem', the bringer of the apocalypse.

I'm not evil.

I've tried to change. I joined the Titans, but they were no different. They didn't understand. They thought that I was emotionless, but I'm not. I have emotions, but if I allow them to affect me, people get hurt. Do you have any idea how much I want to talk to Starfire about boys? How much I would like to date, dance, scream, rant, argue, _feel_? But I can't.

Because I'm wierd, and I'm different, and no one understands. I can't be myself, because being myself would destroy my friends, the only good thing in my life, the only people who care about me even though I am strange. I want to tell him I love him, but it would destroy the city.

It's been so long, that even if I could feel, would I know who I am anymore? Or am I just a shell, a girl with emotions hidden so far under the surface that they're slowly disappearing? I don't want to be that. I want to be me, and I want to be _loved_.

But I can't, so I sit, and I meditate, and I try to ignore their laughter, their life, try to pretend it's not there because if I don't I'll want to join in, and that's a dangerous risk that nothing would make me take.I suffer for my father's mistakes and try to forgive the people that blame me for being born me, and I hope that someday, some one will let me feel.


	9. Color Me Hopeful :General:

**Title:** Color me hopeful  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings: **None

**A/N: **Done for an LJ community, where I have to write 30 drabbles that are exactly 100 words long each.  
**Theme: **Blue

* * *

In the language of colors, blue has always meant melancholy, angsty, depressed. Her cloak, her demeanor...to the Titans, the combination made sense; after all, to most it would seem that she was the epitome of the color. Yet, if anyone were to ask the girl, they would know that couldn't be farther from the truth. To Raven, the blue was comforting, a soft color that spoke of her mother, her time on Azarath. It was everything her father wasn't; calm, tender, gentle. No matter what anyone else said, blue would always be kindest of colors, symbolizing one thing; hope. 


	10. Comparisons :Angst:

**Title:** Comparisons  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings: **None

**A/N: **Done for an LJ community, where I have to write 30 drabbles that are exactly 100 words long each.  
**Theme: **Angel

* * *

She remembered her brief moments in the deserted church, the hurried spill of her life story under the unflinching sights of the stained-glass saints. How she had always wanted to meet one of the creatures depicted there, to compare herself to them. Then suddenly _she _had come back into the picture, cute, confused, devoid of all memories. The girl who had always been the angel to her devil, everything she wasn't. Everyone knew better now, but as Raven thought of those memories she couldn't help but wonder how horrible she really was, if she was the demon to Terra's angel. 


	11. Father Knows Best :Angst:

**Title:** Father knows best  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG  
**Pairings: **None

**A/N: **Done for an LJ community, where I have to write 30 drabbles that are exactly 100 words long each.  
**Theme: **Emotion

* * *

"Azarath metrion zinthos." 

I have to focus, no matter what.

To let my attention shift for a second, to allow my emotions to slip my guard for an instant could mean the destruction of all I love.

I can't let anyone close enough to help, for my gratitude would harm them. The cruel, ultimate irony, the reminder that even though my father is gone I am still very much his child, and I will never be allowed to forget or escape that truth.

All this I suffer in silence, for despite it all, they are worth it.

"Azarath metrion zinthos."


	12. Just Kids :Angst:

**Title:** Just Kids  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Pairings: **None  
**Warnings:** Character death 

**A/N: **Done for an LJ community, where I have to write 30 drabbles that are exactly 100 words long each.  
**Theme: **Dead

* * *

She was dead inside. It had happened so fast; an explosion, a shudder that tore through the whole city, and then she had the privledge of watching one of her loved ones disappear, vaporized instantly by the flames. Just like that, her world was shattered, changed beyond recognition.

They might as well have all died that day, considering the difference within their home. It showed just how attached they had all been to him, and it indicated something interesting; for all their exploits, and all their powers, they were still just kids that couldn't help missing the family pet.


	13. Philosophy and Sladebots :Angst, Humor:

**Title:** Philosophy and Slade-bots  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG  
**Genre:** Humor  
**Pairings: **None  
**Warnings:** Character death

**A/N: **Done for an LJ community, where I have to write 30 drabbles that are exactly 100 words long each.  
**Theme: **Alive

* * *

I try to avoid philosophy. I know it seems like it would be my cup of tea (haha), but to me it's nothing more then a tedious overthinking of human nature, and of the world we live in. Does it matter where we come from? We're here now. Does it matter if there's a purpose? You can always make your own. 

Does it matter if your life is appreciated? The very fact that you're alive should be enough, and if you can't be content with that, then you should try facing a few Slade-bots and see if your opinion changes.


	14. Moving On :Angst:

**Title:** Moving On  
**Author:** Ferretgirl1124  
**Rating:** PG  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Pairings: **Past RavenxMalchior, implied het pairing  
**Warnings:** Angst, reality, 1st person POV 

**A/N: **Not very happy right now, and just trying to express myself. So...if it sucks...I'm sorry.

* * *

Love isn't all roses and chocolate. Everywhere I look it's he loves her, she loves him, they live happily ever after. 

Have you ever noticed that real life rarely goes that way? In real life there are lies, betrayals...and some times, the other person simply doesn't love you in return. I know all of those very well; first, with Malchior, who I thought had ruined love for me forever. Then, there was him.

He was always there to catch me when I fell, to smile when I frowned, to hold me when I cried. And before I knew it, I loved him. I don't know how it happened, or why, but it did. There were no fireworks, of course, just a simple revelation as I watched him walk; this wasn't a crush, and it certainly wasn't how friends felt.

But love isn't all roses and chocolate, rainbows and sunrises. He doesn't love me, and in real life, things like that don't change.

I think that's the true difference between fiction and reality. In fiction, there is joy, no matter the situation, and in real life, sometimes you have no choice but to live with it, and try to move on.


	15. Silence and Despair :Angst:

Title: Silence and Despair  
Author: ferretgirl1124  
Genres: Angst  
Pairings/Characters: Raven  
Warnings: 1st person POV, never ending angst, some spoilers for 'How long is forever?'  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: She will always be alone.

A/N: I wrote this a while back when I was really upset, am I actually still like it. Shocking.

* * *

I knew it could never work. We were too different. Beast Boy wanted to enjoy life, Robin was determined to eliminated all evils, and a part of Cyborg would always hate what he was, or, to be more accurate, what he had become. I simply wasn't meant to be around others. She kept us together, kept us coping no matter how bad things got. I suppose that the same result would have come about if any of us had disappeared, but she was the only one that did.

We tried to keep going. We really did. But after a while, the fights got too bad, the tensions too thick, and we gave up. So much for the superheroes being better then average people theory.

I still wonder what it would have been like if she hadn't left. Would I have ended up in this room no matter what? Would I have been spared insanity, or was that programmed into my DNA by virtue of being a demon, inescapable no matter what path is taken? I will never know.

All I know, ironically enough, is that I am indeed insane. I see them from time to time, all of them, but they're all the age we were before the team broke up, and I only need to look at myself to see that that age is long past.

A part of me hoped that we would always be like that. Free, happy, fighting for what we believed in no matter what the odds. We all found a place to belong with the Titans. But things always change; it's natural, if often painful.

I guess now that there is no why to escape it; some twist of fate, no matter how strange, will always make sure that I am alone. Unless there are miracles, which I doubt, I have no options but to resign myself to this fact, settle into the silence of empty room, and wait for my now most welcome guest; death.


	16. Final Straw :Romance, Humor:

**Title:** Final Straw**  
Author:** ferretgirl1124**  
Rating:** PG-13**  
Pairing(s):** Beast BoyxRaven**  
Genre:** Romance, humor**  
Warning:** Obscenities, sneakiness**  
Disclaimer:** There are very few canon pairings in Teen Titans, and none of them are slash. You think this would be the case if I owned it?  
**  
Summary:** A line had been drawn, and he had just crossed it.**  
A/N:** Vaguely inspired by 'Dirty Little Secrets' by All American Rejects. Which, in case you were confused, I don't own.

* * *

That was it. That was the _absolutely **final** **fucking** _straw. He wanted to kiss her? Fine. If anyone, including her common sense, asked, she could write it off as a specialized form of meditation, learning to control her powers under all sorts of situations. 

He wanted to keep a secret? Whatever. She could live without Star's squeals of joy, and she knew that talking about it made him feel like he was betraying Terra.

He wanted them to keep it contained to his bedroom, since she could phase in without anyone noticing? Okay. It made sense (eerily enough) and the last thing they needed was for Robin to notice what they were up to.

But when something, somewhere in his piles of _junk_ **growled **at her, it was time to go.


End file.
